nicevagina:

skinny girl takes photo in underwear = slut

fat girl takes photo in underwear = inspiration to women

(via disfu-nktion)

morrissarty:

cheeky-jackharries:

avatar-rokuu:

veryscarytwist:

how am i supposed to concentrate in science when whENEVER I LOOK TO THE LEFT I SEE THIS 

AT LEAST YOU DON”T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS

AT LEAST YOU DONT HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO THIS

what

(Source: madturbating, via disfu-nktion)

saddumbgirl:

cute messages make me instinctively hide my face in my hands and fall to one side on my bed 

(Source: plantkitten, via disfu-nktion)

saddumbgirl:

cute messages make me instinctively hide my face in my hands and fall to one side on my bed 

(Source: plantkitten, via disfu-nktion)

• (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
• Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
• Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
• Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
• Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
• (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

wikatiepedia:

crimsoncamellianeko:

forimuchdesiretospeakwithhim:

wikatiepedia:

from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this

oh wow look how sarcastic that looks

that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary

DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION

(via disfu-nktion)

holdmeclose-dontlet-go:

longnightsandterriblefights:

siriuslysalvatore:

are you ever just reading a book and you come across word that you don’t know how to pronounce so you just go afkjhjdsfsjkdhs in your head

when it’s someone’s name and you have to keep doing that for the rest of the book

and then you just guess how to pronounce it by what sounds best in your own mind and then the book get’s turned into a movie and it turns out you were wrong and your life feels…  different. 

(via disfu-nktion)

br000t:

se4h4ven:

toxic-ponies:

how are middle schoolers sexually active I wasn’t even socially active

I’m still not socially active 

I’m not even active

(via disfu-nktion)

gaysexistheanswer:

hungarian:

someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone & told her i followed myself on her account but i actually followed gaysexistheanswer

thank you

(via disfu-nktion)

the-vashta-nerada:

whenever i make a music playlist for my mom i always include the song dance (ass) by big sean in there somewhere and never tell her but one time i was supposed to make a gentle soft piano playlist for her and i included that song in it and my mom is a massage therapist so she took that cd in to play as gentle background zen music while she gave her client a massage and that song came up and i was grounded

(via zelda-pls)

romulusthread:

MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING

(via zelda-pls)

flutterlings:

the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”

(via zelda-pls)